There Are a Few Seconds...

               There are a few seconds...( maybe even a whole minute) in the morning when I feel nothing.

I feel floaty

                           

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     I feel calm

          I feel no pain.

I lay there without moving a muscle ....simply aware of my breathing.

I'm not hot or cold

I feel just right.

                          

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My shoulders don't ache from arthritis

My displaced muscles (where I had my mastectomy years ago) don't hurt.

My back doesn't twitch and twist

My head doesn't pound.

                                    

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I feel nothing.

and it is in that moment that I realize...

There was a time when I felt just like this....floaty and pain free...all the time.

For about a minute this morning I felt this.

I felt that maybe just maybe...my body would forget its battle scars and let me  be ME again.

                      

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But as the seconds ticked by my body remembered, and gave into the twinges and pulls.

I thanked her for the memories and moved to start my day.