Time For a Change

                Alrighty then. As I wrote in my last blog post..I'm going back to blogging.

I also wrote that I am working on my health issues; mainly my weight.

About a month ago I attended a family birthday party, then someone thought they would be funny to mention my weight gain by asking.."You pregnant?" and tapped my belly.
                                      
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I was mortified. My weight gain has been a source of angst for me. I wanted to have a good time that night, but I felt like I was under a microscope. Earlier that evening I picked out a blouse that I thought would sort of hide my weighty faults. I guess it didn't work. When it came time for dinner I put very little on my plate and all night fought tears as others enjoyed themselves.

I forgave the person who said the idiotic comment, (He's Old) but the sting of his "joke" hurt for days...and if I'm honest...still.

As a teen and up until my thirties I was very very slim.

Even after I had my first child I lost the weight rather quickly. I figured out that breast feeding really helped with the loss of the extra pounds. The  OBGYN I had then strongly suggested that I wear a spandex girdle to encourage everything in my belly area to go back into place. It worked!

Two and a half years later I was pregnant again. This time I gave birth to a much bigger baby and for some odd reason I decided not to wear a girdle. BIG mistake. I went back to work 7 weeks after my son was born, so breast feeding was more difficult and ended sooner than with my daughter.

After I turned 40 the pounds started to gradually pile on. In the last two years My Doctor has commented on it over and over again. She was kind though, but ugh I hated getting on that scale.

Even so I still felt I could pull it off....

                      Until this past year.

 Clothes have become so uncomfortable! Going shopping has turned into something I DREAD. Jeans fold over and let my muffin top hang out. Blouse sleeves tighten and squeeze my upper arms. If I run everything jiggles and bounces and trips up my rhythmic flow.

I dread seeing people I haven't seen in a while because as much as they don't want to react....they do. I'm like that TV cop that looks for Micro facial changes that would indicate proof that they think me a big fluffy blob.

Most try to just stare at my face avoiding the whole flabby body 
                       
                                  source

Their slight twitchy eye means "Sheeeeeez, Joanne has gotten big!"
                                         
The slight frown after a smile would say "Holy Fa molies! she's HUGE!"

The reddening neck would say "Quick, what can I say that's positive?"

My energy and mood have been super low, and the clincher (as I wrote in a previous post) was the bad results from my medical physical.

I am now 53 years old and I have been saying I'm going to lose the weight for years and years.

So recently I said "ENOUGH!"

I downloaded an app to my phone. It's one of those apps where you list everything you eat during the day. You can even scan the bar codes of items and it will give you the calories and fat per portion. I know I should be able to do this on my own , but for some reason seeing it there on my phone really keeps me in check.

I've stopped drinking sweet drinks like soda (except for a juice once a day) and just drink water or seltzer.

Portion control and watching my fat intake (and especially cholesterol) will inevitably help with this process. Its not going to be overnight, but I will lose the weight if I stick to a healthy plan.

And one more thing...juicing. It really works to curb the appetite and give me that needed energy mid-day. 

I'm off to a good start, but if anyone jokingly ever asked me again if I am pregnant...I might bop them in the head and say


                "Oh sorry, it must be those raging pregnancy hormones"