Welp, The Results Are In...

                        In my last post I wrote how  my latest mammogram came back abnormal.

There it was, on my online medical record "My Chart"; in all caps...

                                           ABNORMAL

Rude! 

It yanked me right back to when I found out I had cancer the first time. This time (just like last time) I went for another mammo and sonogram. I decided that I could have one good cry and then I would stop and worry only when there was something to worry about. We had planned a small family dinner to celebrate both my Daughter and her Hubby's birthdays, and I chose to tell both my Son and Daughter the day before my appointment. I didn't want to ruin our family time but more importantly I didn't want my kids to worry all week long when there might not be anything to worry about. This time they were adults and not small children. I could have told them, but they've been through so much in the past when it came to my health and my mama's heart just couldn't do it.

All week long the thought flashed through my head.

Could this be really happening again?

I thought of last time and me begging God to give me 5 more years with my kids. HE Gave me so much more.

I got to go camping and hiking and swimming and do everyday boring things with my family!

We celebrated graduations and sweet sixteens and weddings

We found a church that we loved

and my faith deepened

This time, this scare reminded me of all that fear and worry. It also reminded and pushed me to  finally live MY life! These past four years while my mom has lived with us I have given up so much and I have put my life into a boxed labeled 

                                     "Maybe Later"

I won't do that anymore. After my sonogram the doctor walked in, took another look as the tech highlighted and gave it another round with the transducer (wand) so that the doctor could see more and be sure.

                          He then. said....It's a cyst. No cancer. Come back in 6 months so we can monitor it and see if anything changes.

I was so happy! and I couldn't wait to tell my husband who was waiting in the main waiting room. I was so anxious to tell him the news that I walked right past the changing room and went out there with my exam robe on!   

I couldn't care less! I didn't want him worrying (not one second) more than he had to.....but thank God I was wearing pants! no need to scare and blind people with my pale skinny legs.

Oh and about that box marked "Maybe Later" .... its now marked... 

                                                      

                                         "Today" 

Goals and dreams might have to be adapted and changed a bit, but they will not be put on the shelf with a tag marked "would of, could of, should of" 

Have a great week! Blessings Joanne