Soooooooo the Hubster says to me....
"Hey what if we all go for a hike this weekend?"
"Are you saying I'm FAT?!" I respond
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"What?...No I just thought it would be nice to go for a hike."
"Oh, OK." I respond.
"I found this new hiking trail...and we can even bring the dog."
"Sound cool." I say.
"It's about a four mile hike up and down hills. It'll be good for everyone especially you."
"Hmmm, whats that supposed to mean! Are you saying I'm FAT?"
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"No, I thought you loved long hikes. Whats your deal anyway?."
"Oh, nothing,...where is it?" He didn't know I had just come from weighing myself and finding 5 extra pounds displayed.
"It's in the Catskills."
"What?...isn't that about a three hour drive?"
"Yep, but we can leave early."
OK, my head is going into overdrive. I see the whole day laid out before my eyes....
Getting up at the crack of dawn.
Groggy cranky kids.
Our dog in the back seat of the car nervously farting away because he'll be convince that we're going to the groomers or gasp...the vet.
The temperature was going to be freezing and my hiking boots were thrown away after 12 years of faithful service. The day before will be spent trying to find cute yet functional hiking boots.
The night before I would be the only one up 'til all hours making sure everyone has what they need and lunches and snacks would have to packed.
I will be nearly in tears to find that nothing fits me anymore and will be convinced that Hubster purposely planned this outing to show me that fact.
I will pack everyone's stuff and they will have what they need except for me....My gloves and hat will inevitably be left behind adorning my bureau.
My teenage daughter will complain that the whole trip is lame and will take it out on her brother; this in turn will push him to call her stupid and an idiot.
I will yell that "We all need to get along or else we will turn the car around and go home!" which will be what I want to happen anyway!
I decided to skip over all that crapola
"How about we stay local Hon?" I suggest.
"Really? I thought you'd enjoy it. You are always complaining that you want to exercise more."
"Are you saying I'm FAT?!!!"
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"You know what?... lets stay local."
"So you DO think I'm FAT!"
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"Ugh, I can't win!" Hubby sighs.
I pour myself another cup of coffee and place a few more cookies on my plate. Wha?....are you thinking I'm fat!!!???
Awwww! My theory, in fact my fact is this. Five pounds does not show!! You need to gain at least ten or fifteen, so you are in the safe zone!! Did you go yet? Did you have fun?
ReplyDeleteThanks Ginny! No we didn't go..it would have been too long a ride. We will go when it's a bit warmer and we can possibly stay the night.
DeleteI want that rabbit!!!!
ReplyDeleteIsn't he the cutest!? He almost looks fake! I just love his cheeks!
ReplyDeleteI need to go walking more. No real excuse. Hiking in the mountains sounds like fun
ReplyDeleteI love the catskills, but this weekend was freezing. I'm waiting for at least a 40 degree day. Ok maybe 50.
DeleteI don't like his cheeks, they look too much like mine.
ReplyDeleteLOL! I think his cheeks are adorable!
DeleteOur husbands have to watch what they say, don't they? Glad you didn't have to go through all of that - although you would have been in our neck of the woods!
ReplyDeletexo
Claudia
Yes, especially when we don't feel 100 percent. Poor guy just couldnt win! LOL! I love it there....just not when it's so cold. I'm more of a "look out the window at winter with a cup of cocoa in my hand" kind of girl. ;0)
DeleteHiking does NOT sound fun to me, but I would probably like it once I got going:)
ReplyDeleteI love hiking especially in the spring...no mosquitoes! :0)
DeleteLol! Sometimes the guys just can't say the right thing. I have decided that living in MN - I need an extra 5 lbs. to keep warm in the Winter. :-) Yes, I know...it's an excuse. Thanks for the giggles!
ReplyDeleteMake it ten because I think I'm heading in that direction! LOL!
DeleteI love this post. All of the fat cute animals. My friend has a cat like that. He eats table food right along with the rest of them and he is so huge he bounces when he walks.
ReplyDeleteAww he must be adorable!
DeleteHahah))) so funny. Just the other day I was looking at myself in the mirror and complaining to hubby that I've already gained 18 lb and I'm only 23 weeks. I said I was fat and he comes up to me and says, right to my face: "You are fat with our baby!!!" Like that's supposed to make me feel better. I slapped him and said I wasn't fat!
ReplyDeleteThose men!!!!
Oh my goodness didnt he get the daddy- to- be manual? Not calling your wife fat is in chapter one! LOL!
DeleteYou always have a cute way of telling a story. I feel your frustration as I also gained 5 pounds over the holidays. Just keep consistent with your diet and exercise when and however you can and it will all work out.
ReplyDeleteThanks Barb, I'm afraid that soon I won't be able to blame the holidays for much longer :0)
DeleteHaha! Funny, funny stuff. You sound like my kind of gal. BTW...I am fat. 20 pounds need to shed quickly...
ReplyDeleteDoesn't it seem like it should be so easy? Darn!
DeleteWE are so a like!! Our poor husbands ... what who am I kidding he deserves a little frustration ... hehe :)
ReplyDeleteYes, poor guys!
DeleteLOL!!!! I know that feeling . . .and that conversation, although I usually have to initiate most outdoor activities. This year fitting in my ski gear has been a challenge, and one day a zipper broke . . .but it was fixable. The getting ready part is still largely up to me, but my husband takes care of all the gear.
ReplyDeleteOh I wish I could ski, but my seasons are spring and summer...I love them!
DeleteWhew! Disaster avoided. Your husband never had a chance.
ReplyDeleteSusan, you are sooooo right! LOL!
DeleteI love your description of a hike in the Catskills...groogy cranky kids! No wonder men think they cannot win:)
ReplyDeleteJoanne, your humor is fabulous! I love dropping by to read your light and witty commentary on the ordinary (yet somehow extraordinary) bits of life.
ReplyDelete