Soooooooo the Hubster says to me....
"Hey what if we all go for a hike this weekend?"
"Are you saying I'm FAT?!" I respond
"What?...No I just thought it would be nice to go for a hike."
"Oh, OK." I respond.
"I found this new hiking trail...and we can even bring the dog."
"Sound cool." I say.
"It's about a four mile hike up and down hills. It'll be good for everyone especially you."
"Hmmm, whats that supposed to mean! Are you saying I'm FAT?"
"No, I thought you loved long hikes. Whats your deal anyway?."
"Oh, nothing,...where is it?" He didn't know I had just come from weighing myself and finding 5 extra pounds displayed.
"It's in the Catskills."
"What?...isn't that about a three hour drive?"
"Yep, but we can leave early."
OK, my head is going into overdrive. I see the whole day laid out before my eyes....
Getting up at the crack of dawn.
Groggy cranky kids.
Our dog in the back seat of the car nervously farting away because he'll be convince that we're going to the groomers or gasp...the vet.
The temperature was going to be freezing and my hiking boots were thrown away after 12 years of faithful service. The day before will be spent trying to find cute yet functional hiking boots.
The night before I would be the only one up 'til all hours making sure everyone has what they need and lunches and snacks would have to packed.
I will be nearly in tears to find that nothing fits me anymore and will be convinced that Hubster purposely planned this outing to show me that fact.
I will pack everyone's stuff and they will have what they need except for me....My gloves and hat will inevitably be left behind adorning my bureau.
My teenage daughter will complain that the whole trip is lame and will take it out on her brother; this in turn will push him to call her stupid and an idiot.
I will yell that "We all need to get along or else we will turn the car around and go home!" which will be what I want to happen anyway!
I decided to skip over all that crapola
"How about we stay local Hon?" I suggest.
"Really? I thought you'd enjoy it. You are always complaining that you want to exercise more."
"Are you saying I'm FAT?!!!"
"You know what?... lets stay local."
"So you DO think I'm FAT!"
"Ugh, I can't win!" Hubby sighs.
I pour myself another cup of coffee and place a few more cookies on my plate. Wha?....are you thinking I'm fat!!!???