If Only I Could

        Yesterday, I dreamt that my son was a baby again. He was wearing tiny little sweat pants and a tiny little matching sweat shirt. The hood covered his bald little head. I picked him up and held him on my hip and I could feel how heavy he was and I could actually smell him. He smelled of a fresh bath...baby lotion and the artificial scent of baby powder from the fresh diaper he had on. In the dream I took it completely for granted that I was holding him that way again.

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The door bell rang and I put him down as I went to see who was at the door....then...I woke up.

 I can't tell you how sad I was to wake up to find that I wasn't holding my baby anymore.

Lord knows that the dream was definitely symbolic for me...Lately I have been fretting about my daughter going to college and my son's grades in school.

 Subconsciously I was going back to a time where I kept my eye on him 24/7. I controlled whatever happened around him... what he wore and even how sweet he smelled.

I can't begin to tell you how I long for time to turn back, to take me back to where my mistakes as a mom were few and It seemed I had the energy of a superhero.

I want to go back to before the reality that they would grow up and leave to start their own lives would loom so closely. I want to go back to Sesame street, Dora the Explorer and Caillou.

                                                      
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I want to go back to sweet infectious giggles and holding them until they fell asleep.

 If only I could... for just a little while.

Artsy Fartsy Friday~ The art of Suzanne Heintz

            When I was younger one of my favorite people in the whole wide world was my Mother's cousin. She sang in a band and traveled. She wore the latest fashions and was athletic and adventurous too! 

Once around the holidays she her her band arrived at our door in NYC and were singing and playing their instruments in the hallway. My brothers and I ran to the door as my Mom and dad welcomed everyone inside. For the next few hours the band and Mom and Dad sang, ate and laughed. I still have an old tape of My parents singing and I can hear my brother and I in the background singing as well.  She was everything exciting and awesome to me. ...but for the rest of the family...not so much.

Every time she was in town others from the family  would ask...

"Hey, when are you going to settle down? When are you going to get married?"

 Her Mother would go one further
 "Just get MARRIED!" 

I thought she was fine just the way she was. 




Now to introduced my new fave ARTIST. Her name is Susanne Heintz and she is brilliant. Here's a picture of her and her family...

                                         
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Notice anything different?



                                            How 'bout here?
                                          
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                                            and now?
                                  

        What about now?                                   




That's right her "husband" and "child" in the pictures are mannequins
  

Want to know why?....Here's a video

                                                                       
                 
  

Isn't she awesome? for more of Suzanne Heintz's Art Please visit her web site suzanneheintz.com/

Have a Beautiful Weekend and if you are expecting a snow storm like we are...be safe!!!

Blessings, Joanne

Watching Clara

                 


                When my daughter was 15 she found these videos starring Clara, a 90+ -year-old lady who makes recipes she had during the depression. My Julie absolutely loved watching them. Recently I was reminded of Clara and wanted to share a video with you. Her sweet nature and her stories make it a wonderful "must watch". Enjoy




                   


Blessings, Joanne

Thinking at 2am

                    Its 2am ....

                                2am

                                         2am
          I can't sleep so I just start thinking...

              after weeks of absolute delicious weather..(seriously I was Christmas shopping in a T shirt!) winter is finally here. The wind bites at my face and my ear aches from the cold. My dreams are not of soft falling snow, but of Spring time and gardens yet to be planted.


                  I want to move.

                               Then.....I don't.


             I want to sell the house and move to somewhere where 350,000                        actually gets you a huge home instead of a tiny cape.


             I want to enjoy a garden all year round and not dream of it for 7                        months of the year.




My Husband and I go back and forth.  


Some days wanting to live our retirement years in Florida...

Then thinking that we'd only live there during the winter months.



                                           SNOWBIRDS!

That's what I want! I want to be a snow bird! I want to live in Florida November through April...then spend May Through October in a tiny Cabin in the woods in the North East.


This is the Dream. A very expensive dream.


So recently I introduced a different plan to the Hubster.


                            An RV. A getaway on wheels.


           Something like THIS.....

                               
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with an interior like this...
                                  
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Yep...an RV is definitely do-able









Though the one we can afford may very likely look like this....


                          
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I wonder if the scooter comes with a seat warmer for those chilly night drives

Ahh, one can only dream..........

                               
                                  

Thursday's Post ( sorry I couldn't think of a better title)

                  Happy Thursday everyone.

                              Sooooo, for a year now..(maybe more) I have struggled to keep up with this blog. I love to write so it baffled me as to why I could not sit and write like before. I kept trying to reignite the spark and poof it was out again before I could even start.


Soooo. I have decided to do one of the following:


                              (1) delete the blog

                    (2) create a new blog

                              or

                    (3) Sell everything and move to Alaska


                              (4) none of the above



It's 4. 

I'm requesting a do-over.

A do-over! Why didn't I think of this before? Considering my Christian faith is full of Do-overs ....repenting and forgiveness and starting anew...that's it!


So that's what I'm doing.


Lets begin.




       This is the kind of day where I usually say to myself  " Okie dokie....Let me tackle that laundry and then the kitchen then the basement and while I'm at it... rearrange all the drawers in the whole house!!!!
                                                
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I promise myself that all the things that I HAVE to do will Have to wait until I can catch up on all the things I've been dreading to do...


I go downstairs and look at the laundry and climb the mountain of soiled clothes and vow to conquer it and place that flag on the tippity top.

I do one load and forget that it's still in the washing machine hours later.

I go to tackle the basement..."I'm a freakin' ninja!!!!" I tell myself. I'm going to karate, judo,taekwondo the heck out of this place.
                                
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I start to look at the pictures that were never put into photo albums and smile at my silly kids faces on countless halloweens. The place ends up looking worse because of me trying to Organize everything.

then there's the kitchen....but you get the gist.


As I stand there in the kitchen eating a pudding pop wondering what to clean next; I look at my dog who is shedding like crazy and I wonder if there are people out there who create stuff from dog hair...


I went to my computer and Yes, there are.
                                                                                                         
                     
                                       
They have time and energy to make hats from Fido's dander, but I can't seem to find time to fold my clothes and put them AWAY!

I need some kind of stinkin' intervention... and as my friends and family surround me and tell me how my disorganization has affected them negatively...I will put dust cloths and vacuums, and mops in their hands...

Wha? No good?

Darn it, I guess I have to get to work....but wait...


                                   Just one more pudding pop.