Hi everyone.
It's been a hard few days.
I can sum it up in just one word....
TEENAGER
Teenage girl to be exact.
Every time I see a commercial or some TV show that depicts someone talking and smiling about how close they are with their daughters...
"We're best friends" and "I love spending time with my Mom"
I want to throw something at the TV.
Suddenly, I am public enemy number one around here
When the Hell ( yeah I said it) did I become the person to avoid?
Am I too strict?
Am I not strict enough?
What The Hell ( yep, I said it again) am I doing wrong?
I say black
She say white
I say no
She shouts "Why not, Why not, Why not,Why not, Why not, Why not, Why not, Why not, Why not,Why not, Why not, Why not , Why not, Why not, Why not,Why not, Why not, Why not , Why not, Why not, Why not,Why not, Why not, Why not!" Even though the "why not" has been explained several times
I find myself wanting to start a support group of Moms of teen girls
or perhaps there is already one out there?
If there is where do I sign up? and how early can I get there?
I find myself echoing my mother's words
Because I am the boss!
My House my rules!
OVER my dead body!!!
I need help
It seems everyone else gets the smiley girl and I get
source
I am googling self-help books
These are the titles I am looking for.
I'm OK, but you're not because you have a teen
How to repair doors that have been slammed too many times
How to tap your teen's cell phone
How to not feel guilty for tapping your teen's cell phone
How to make great camouflage gear to follow teen around town
How to make your teen love your music
Got Teens? Well then you need 1,000 ways to get rid of migraines, nervous ticks and night terrors
Are you there God it's me ...MOM
Wish me luck....I'm going in!
I've got one, too. I try to remember that I was once one (and BOY was I awful).
ReplyDeletePraying for both of us!
That's what my husband keeps telling me." Remember when you were her age" is what he keeps saying. I don't know what he's talking about...I was a perfect teen! ;0)
DeleteGod help you. I've been there and done that, she's 37 and frankly not much better. All I can tell you is try to make time for yourself, talk to other Moms, every once in a while do something with her you know she loves.... it's hard.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could go back in time. It was so much simpler.
DeleteI hate to say it, because you've probably heard it a million times: it's a phase. My two girls went through the "I hate you!" stage and I just kept my cool. I didn't back down, but stayed pleasant as possible. There were days when I cried, had my feelings hurt and wanted to strike out at something. But today they are beautiful young adults and I'm so glad I got through it. Sure, I made mistakes...and they did, too. But just keep praying and smiling and she honestly will be your best friend in a few years.
ReplyDeleteThanks Rae, I know its a phase but sometimes I think my daughter has been taken and replaced by an alien!
DeleteI had more of a problem with my son as a teenager than my daughter. If you hang in there this too will pass. You will close your eyes one day, open them, and your daughter will be grown. Then you remember only the good times.
ReplyDeleteThanks Beth, I think she is having a hard time of it too quite frankly. She and I are both in new stages of our lives.
DeleteI had boys thankfully. Always wanted a girl and now I have 3 lovely daughter-in-laws.. Lucky me I did not have to raise them. I remember when my kids would always say "Why not every one else is". I had a stock answer. You do not ask me why when I say yes, so never ever ask my why when I say no, then I would turn and walk away. I never argued with my boys, I was the Mom. End of story.. We all survived. But I have heard daughters are harder to raise. Good luck, you can do this and do it well.
ReplyDeleteI think having daughters has to be harder because they are more susceptible to more dangers.but then again these days are just more stressful than ever
DeleteHang in there, my son`s are still young, but i do have nieces and nephews, in there teens. And hearing what there parents say and the yelling that goes on at family gatherings im not looking forward to the teen years.
ReplyDeleteI feel sorry for both parents and kids, as there is so much now to deal with and influnces that we never had growing up. So much media imput.
I think we need to stand firm and strong for our children, even when they dont like it. I always try and hear my kids points and feelings. But it`s hard when someone is kicking you or screeming at you.
With ben who is 7 I have had alot of problems with huge outbursts and doors slamming already, he is getting close to my height and its already hard for me to calm him down as hes so big. Not sure what i will do when he`s older.
I take alot of timeouts for myself, and try and do minis or watch a gardening show, my hubbie and i take turns when one of us burns out. Thank the lord for that.
I too hear myself saying things my mom said, arrgggh.
Jenn
I'm so sorry my dear, I remember those days and how much I hate my step mom. My 8 year old has taken on this same routine. I almost want to take the door off the hinges :).
ReplyDeleteI so want the Are you there God it's me ...MOM book :).
HUGS
God bless you now! Amazing how those words from our mothers mouth start flowing from ours. ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteOh boy! I used to ask myself, "What am I doing wrong?" all the time until someone said to instead ask myself, "What else can I do right?" She knows you love her! Keep serving her and she'll come around.
ReplyDeleteI remember those days. They DO pass. It was my son who was a pain, and those years just made me feel like rotten parent. Someone once said that teens have to be difficult, so we urge them to grow up and get out. If our kids stayed loveable all the time, we 'd never let them go. There is some truth to that. :-)
ReplyDeleteBig hugs for you. I don't have a teenage girl of my own but I do have teenage sons and one has a teenage girlfriend. I have seen enough of her moody moments to be pretty glad that she doesn't actually belong to us
ReplyDeleteHang tough and know you're a good mom. I can't speak from experience, but I have several friends who went through that seemingly never-ending phase with their teen girls and eventually got to a much better place.
ReplyDeletePS Thanks for your care and support, Joanne!
xoRobyn
My teenager is today in her forties but I remember it like it was yesterday. Believe me, everything is actually normal and she will change for the better. Right now it seems useless and hopeless and hellish (yeah I said it) but stay strong because you will be rewarded later.
ReplyDeleteMy kids are all grown up, too but I remember the teen age years well. I had 4 teen boys at the SAME time! I don't know how I did it or I would give your some advice! lol I prayed a lot...and still do! You'll do great! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteYou have a lot of comments on this and most of them say what I am going to say. There is a difficult time you go through with your daughter or in my case daughters. But it gets better and personally I have a wonderful relationship with my daughters. They are now my best friends and we have so much love for one another. I feel and hope for that to happen with you.
ReplyDeleteYeah... my mum and I actually had a great relationship in my teen years, but then things sort of fell apart when I became an adult, because no matter what she said, I had things I wanted to do and I wasn't going to stop going after them.
ReplyDeleteWe have since declared a truce, but she still sometimes makes me think she believes that I'm being an idiot when all I am is true to myself.
Still, I found rules were a good thing as long as they weren't too restrictive. Odds are your daughter does too. She's just testing the boundaries. :-)