I never ever feel like I blend in.
Being the daughter of an ultra conservative Mom and a sort of Beatnik Dad made me feel that I was a psychedelic square peg trying to ease my way into a black cashmere round hole.
I would beg my Mom to pack peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for my lunch.
She'd pack pork chops and potatoes.
except she put the pork chop in between two slices of bread.
In our house it was not rare to hear opera one day then country music the next. I was the only kid I knew that enjoyed old black and white movies and documentaries on just about anything.
I also watched Sesame street even when I was in elementary and middle school just because I thought it was funny. ( Grover is my favorite)
I would put on plays and turn my room into a haunted house at halloween because my Dad said I could. He and Mom would pretend to be scared of the paper bats and spooky sounds I recorded on my tape player.
In New york I was free to be as different as I wanted to be and really no one ever even batted an eye. In my 20's I wore a fedora hat and wore vintage thrift store clothes. That to me was completely normal and cool.
When I got married we moved to the burbs. It took some getting used to and to this day I don't plant anything that I know the names of ...I just plant flowers because I think they are pretty regardless if its the zone for them or not.
Zone zone? we don't need no stinkin' zone
maybe that's why The Hubster took over flower gardening duties
I buy a new Christmas book every year and place them all around the house for guests to feel like a kid again.
When we had our daughter I decided I should be NORMAL ...for her. I mean who wants a wacky mom. So on came the mommy jeans ( not really but they might as well have been) and I straighten my wild curly hair.
Kindergarten orientation for the parents came along and I went back and forth on what I should wear. I did not want to stick out. I wanted for once in my life to blend and be like everybody else.
I chose a smart outfit. and as I walked in with my straight long hair clipped in the back with a smart little hair clip....I thought hmmmm I belong....I blend in ...I can totally pass for a P.T.A mom.....all was well...until....
I went to my car and found that the front wheels were in sort of a sink hole situation. It seemed the school had repaved the parking lot and my car was in damaged part of the lot. As people gathered around to look at who's car it was I wanted to just turn and walk away slowly.
...but of course I didn't do that. I went into the office where the principal assured me that he would help me get my car out and after an hour and quite a number of tries the car was indeed freed . I was known after that as the mom who got her car stuck in the hole.
There have been other times...like the time I sat through an entire general meeting just to find out I was at the wrong place.
...then there was the time I went to the bus stop wearing a boot on one foot and a sneaker on the other.
You know some other stories because I have written them here. I have come to the realization that everyone has their own stories. I have also found out that I am who I am and blending in just doesn't work. I laugh hard, I love to dance in my kitchen while doing dishes. It feels good to have my hands covered in paint or charcoal. I'll listen to Opera one day and the next it might be country...and I just saw this fascinating documentary about crocodiles, but I digress..
Saturday I went to pick up my daughter and her friend at the indoor ice skating rink and my car suddenly rattled and banged like something out of the Beverly Hillbillies.
Down the road we went
Bang sputter sputter bang boom bang boom!
People everywhere craned their necks to see what the heck was making that sound.
I simply sat at the red light while the car retched and shook and smiled at all the staring people.
On Saturday I will attend my first ladies night at the new church we are attending, and will meet alot of new people.....
I wonder how long it'll take them to look at me like this....