Saturday, October 16, 2010

Down with Dream Squashers

             There was an incident today that I witnessed between two people which made me think of an episode of Everybody loves Raymond. I over heard one lady telling another about her exciting news. She was about to finally sell her crafts at some craft fair in the spring. The other said "Ugh, Crafts fairs? They are alright but......".She went on about how the craft lady will probably not get what she wants for the crafts. Blah blah blah. then added "Do you think your crafts are good enough for a Craft fair?" The craft lady listened and tried to interject but was left with simply nodding and listening to doubt and what seemed like disapproval.  After a while the lady who was so happy about her news lowered her voice and then changed the subject altogether. The other lady seemed unaware of what she had just done. The craft lady seemed dejected. I felt badly for her. I spent the next few minutes thinking about the lady with the good news. Will she go ahead with her plans? I hope so.I theorize that in everyone's life there exists a Dream Squasher. I first heard that term on an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. Robert, the long suffering jealous brother of Ray advises Debra (his sister-in-law) to stay away from the Dream Squashers (the family members that had not supported any dream that he had growing up).  He called them Dream Squashers and it was hilarious. It was so true. Everyone has a Dream Squasher in their lives. Now, I'm not talking about those individuals in your life that might be showing concern for your safety or who question on occasion because they truly want to understand your choices. I'm writing about those who consistently question; consistently doubt.  You might have a Dream Squasher in your life right now. Do you hear this?
"That'll never work"
"Hey, good for you but are you sure you want to go that route?"
"Oh you lost some weight? I couldn't tell"
"No offense but that's dumb."
"You're wearing that?"
"You'll never..."
 They could be a co-worker that makes you second guess your work constantly or a family member or friend who regularly  no matter what you have accomplished (or are happy about in your life)  they, instead of saying "way to go!" they say..."Really? That's good , but... I don't think you can........" or even worse they say nothing at all. There's nothing worse than receiving an apathetic response when you are on a high over a great moment or decision  in your life. While most are saying go for it or congratulations the D Ss are telling you everything that you are doing wrong or how it might just blow up in your face. Do you leave feeling sort of robbed of your joy? Dream Squashers. Think about it...when was the last time you were excited about something? New job? Got a raise? Started a hobby? Met someone new? Made something with your own two hands? Or even something as simple as getting recognized for something you did. You are so happy and when people find out about it....Which are the people that say
 "Hey, great job! Well done Congratulations!" Picture them. See them? Good. Now, on the other hand you'll know who the Dreams Squashers are by their BUTS
"Ah new job huh....well that's great, but..."
" Alot more responsibility for you? that's great ,but......
 "That's great news, but ..
"...but...that will never work...ever".
Or the dreaded " Hey you're losing the baby how much more weight do you have to lose?".....Dream Squashers. There's only one way to handle them I think; ask
 "Now what made you say that?" because you see they might not know that they are a Dream Squasher.  Then just wait; eventually they'll get it...hopefully. So currently what are you working on?  Going for that promotion or spending more time exploring? Are you building something? Writing a book?  Going back to school? Going back to your Faith? Donating your time to a Charity? Painting? Arranging Flowers? Learning to cook? Reading more? Great! Good for you! ...I theorize that almost everyone has been a Dream Squasher at some time or another.We all have our moments. I know I have. We are all human. Hopefully we are blessed with more people that support and encourage us then not. And hopefully we support and encourage others then not. We have a choice. Do we want to crush dreams or encourage and support? I  hope and pray to do the latter. This afternoon I had a great conversation with my son. He was reading to me a "Book"  he is writing. He's decided to continue the Harry Potter series and he says he is going to send the finished story to J.K.Rowling ( the creator and writer of the Harry Potter books)so she could read it and maybe get ideas for some "new" stories . He asks me what I thought of the idea. I looked at his big handwriting and saw all the hard work he has already put into it. I listened intently to all the plots he came up with. His excitement was inspiring. Did I look in my nine-year-old's beautiful eyes and tell him that the text was a bit sloppy and J. K. Rowling would probably never see freaking way. I said "Go for it! You are a great writer." He left my side with a great big smile on his face and you know what? Who knows, Maybe J. K. will read it and like it...I look at my son and I bet he will be a great writer some day, or Lego designer,or Scientist,or even an ice cream man.........No Dream Squashing here.

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