Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Potty Words

The following is a post that I deleted and then fixed, then deleted and then finally found that perhaps it wasn't so bad to begin with. so here it is.

                         Bad Words

I am no angel. I try hard not to curse but there are times when saying oh poo just doesn't cut it.

Like when I'm driving.

                           I get a teensy weensy, itsy bitsy bit angry when I drive.....wait let me re-phrase that. I get angry when people DO STUPID ASININE, DANGEROUS crap on the road.


 So I would let out a curse or two or thirty, because Damn it all it made me feel better! Before I had my beautiful angel J. I had no qualms in letting out some curses here and there.  All that stopped when she was born....almost. I stopped the cursing everywhere in my life, but the car.

Some moron would cut me off nearly causing me to have an accident and a curse words would come flying out....however in my defense I never used the "F" word (OK, I'll admit to once without the Baby in tow..OK twice...stop judging me!) while driving. My repertoire of curses wasn't extensive, and my combos were amateurish at best, but it was enough to get my point across even if I was the only one hearing it...or so I thought.

One day Hubby and I (with our 18-month old J in her car seat in the back) were driving to see the Grandparents. When  out of no where this car zooms pass and cuts us off. Hubby had to swerve a bit to keep us all safe and he growled and yelled but didn't utter any potty words.
Before I could say anything my 18-month-old J said... "Damn it!"as clear as could be.

Hubby snapped his head toward me and said " This one is on YOU!"

My sweet little tweety bird looking baby said the d word and it was all my fault.

and I think she enjoyed the reaction she got because for a bit after that whenever she dropped a toy out came that word. That was enough for me to start subbing the words for other more kinder ones. She soon forgot all about the potty words and I was glad.

Ever since that incident whenever the kids are in the car and some ignoramus decides to try to cut me off, steal my parking spot or ignore a stop sign. I simply use phrases like "What A MAROON (like in Looney Tunes)! What the freedom does he think he's doing? Son of a beansprout oh no you didn't just cut me off you "darn flipping poo head!" My Son just laughs and says "I know what you really want to say Mom!"

"Oh really how do you know that?" 

"The bus driver doesn't use subs when he's driving. Sometimes it slips out."

So much for trying to keep that exposure to a minimum. Glad that tax money is going to good use...ugh !Thank God the bus driver is retiring this year. No more hearing  "%$#@@&!!!!!"  for my son...well at least until middle school where every kid thinks its cool to curse.

                                                     What a bunch of doodie heads.


  1. THis is so funny! Those kids are like sponges!!! Boy, will I have to speak a different language when I have kids:)

  2. Again, you are TOO funny!!! Someone should have reported the bus driver, but maybe the kids liked it!! I'm glad he's retiring! And glad you have edited yourself, it's really much more funny this way, and it also may even be good for showing the kids how to de-stress in tense situations, you think?? It could happen!

  3. Now Miss Joanne, I'm not judging you, but if I was I'd have to say you are a brilliant raconteur.(Thats not a cuss word).
    Years ago there was this comedy tv show with a character called "Gumby" My friend had a 2 year old who watched it, even though it was on in the evening. The stock phrase was "I'm Gumby damn it" and of course the child memorized it. His mom would say: "It's time for bed son" and he'd say: "I'm Gumby damn it". Unfortunately, the parents thought it was hilarious and it went on and on for months. It WAS funny, but after a couple of weeks...

  4. Hehehehe sorry, but you don't have mini-bus taxis. Forget cursing, I sort of lose my words in rage.

    Anyway, I know what you mean about picking words in front of children. Because for some reason THOSE ones are always the ones that they pick up.


  5. Very funny! When I'm driving I call everyone that I am angry at a "jerk" and I feel better.

  6. doodie heads LOVE it!!

    I must admit my swear jar is probably over flowing with change for all those that slip out of my mouth! I have tried to edit myself because I know the boys will catch on and have ... ugh head slap!

  7. I loved this post!! My mother never used a cuss word ever that I can remember. When she was aggravated about something she would start humming God Bless America. I carried on that with my kids only I would sing it as I can't hum. ;-)

  8. There can be times when a fitting curse word is appropriate and carries the right amount of impact. I don't like it when people just inject it into their speech as a natural part of their language. I must say I like the creativity of some of your "cursing".

    Tossing It Out

  9. Funny post, and love Beth's comment. My family did use cuss words, but as my mom's faith grew she started cutting more and more of them out, and now when driving, she will shout, "Oh, God BLESS THEM, they need it!" This always cracks me up, and I try to either do that, or incoherent grumbling when frustrated in the car. My bright oldest daughter heard me use the "f" word once in the car and repeated it that night at the dinner table. My husband calmly turned to me and said, "I thought you stopped using that word, honey." Well . . . oops, I thought I had.
    And on a side note: I found when I cut 99.9999% of the bad language out of my life, my faith got stronger and I started to see the glass half full . . . this encouraged me to keep at it, even through slip ups.

  10. @ Lena~ LOL Yes you will make up all sorts of subs!

    @ Ginny~ Yes, I was really upset when I heard abou the bus driver...but he was an older guy and so nice...but if he wasn't retiring....

    @ Anthony Stemke~ Thank you very much for the beautiful compliment!...I learned a new word!

    @ Misha~ Yep, you said it! :O)

    @ Toyin O.~ Thank You!

    @ Barb~ Thats what my husband always says! :O)


    @ Beth~ Maybe I should try singing! Thats a good remedy!

    @ Arlee Bird~I agree and thank You!

    @ Tyrean Martinson~ You are so right! Thank You!

  11. oh my this was too funny and i agree when driving sometimes oh poo just doesn't get it. nice to know the bus driver feels so to.

    Everyday Life


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