Just When I Get Out They Drag Me Back In

Me before

             Forgive me if I wrote that line from the Godfather  incorrectly. Hey look, I was minding my own business...going about my day feeling OK ..not great but OK when low and behold I receive more Christmas cards. I love them. I got one today from a dear friend and she sent along a cute photo of her, her husband and her son all peeking their heads through gingerbread men, elves and snowmen cutouts. I smiled, then I opened more cards...cute... cute... cute......"oh this one is from L, oh how nice the kids are great"..."la dee dee la dee da"  then...........I open the one from a friend whom I have not seen in years but we still keep in touch. My hands shake a bit....because I know what is going to appear before me. I open the card and there it is a picture of her kids and  her and her husband; let me describe it.........She is gorgeous. She seems to have not gained an ounce since she had her son...(she was pregnant at the same time as me). She's wearing a va va voom dress and is every inch the beautiful girl I knew in our twenties. I haven't stressed about my weight in a while. Que sera sera right?...until I got the card. I was fine with my weight gain...OK not fine..."accepting" of it until...the card. I mean couldn't she have gained just a couple of pounds for our friendship sake? I ran to the mirror. I don't know what I expected to find there....maybe it's not so bad I thought..yep it is. I have gained about 30+ pounds since my son was born. It's my own fault I know. I am not a victim nor am I going to blame genetics. I was in shape and very thin until I move to the burbs. Yes that's right I blaming the burbs...the place where people take their cars to the store down the street or even down the block to mail a letter. The burbs where no one seems to walk anywhere. This damn suburb. Who am I kidding....It's me.. my fault....my mouth... so what am I gonna do about it? well,  I don't know let me take ten minutes, sit down and have some cake and coffee and think about it. ;-)

Me and Cake after